Are you unreasonable? I love my grandfather - in memoriam Home

 
I follow the Sydney Kings basketball team. click here to go to the Kings' site

The Kings are nototious for getting their supporters' hopes up, only to dash them in due course, and for not making it to the Grand Finals ever. The team has been going since the 1980's - the sole team from Australia's largest city for most of that time, and they have never made it to the final round of the competition, let alone been champions!

By contrast, the West Sydney Razorbacks made it to the final round playoffs in their fourth year of existence, after being formed in the late 1990's.

Now the Kings are 5 wins from 5 games. They have won more and more convincingly, both at home and away. Their team is talented and deep enough to last the whole game. Their support team (coach and management) are ultra experienced basketball-in-the-blood types. In many ways they look like the Sydney Roosters (who it must be noted have recently won the ARL premiership).

All in all, no team seems more likely to win this year.

So now is the perfect time to get in an early diatribe against the Kings for failing once more.

They would need to win the competition several years in a row to overcome the effects that 20 years of psychological training from these losers have had on this particular Kings supporter.

- 26 October 2002 - 7.37AEST

 
Some people believe you can make Australia drought-proof.

This is so stupid that it does not warrant further comment.

- 25 October 2002 - 8.37PM AEST

 
Judgmental people can be extremely frustrating.

Like those non-working mothers who believe their working counterparts are inherently worse parental units.

When faced with this kind of frustration, typically generating by small-minded selfishness, try exercising self-control in the form of the 'hidden cut'.

By this I mean adopting a mental approach to the person based firmly on the 'in one ear, out the other' principle, but disguised so as to make the other think you are listening with rapt attention to their words of wisdom.

It may not be as instantly gratifying as a smart retort, poke in the eye, or immolation with napalm, but in the long run it always pays off. And after a while you can develop an appreciation for your own skill at delivering the 'hidden cut'.

But if your self-control should perchance fail, remember to use a smart retort, poke in the eye and immolation with napalm in that order - it's always courteous to allow people a chance to shut up, go away and survive ... and napalm DOES make an awful mess.

- 25 October 2002 - 8.27PM AEST

 
How many times have you been faced with someone who, if asked, would say "the glass is half empty"?

Don't these people realise that positive outlook is necessary?

OK, I'm not the first person who will be accused of being totally naïve, but even I can acknowledge the simple sense of seeing the glass as being half full.

Some people have a natural disposition towards being 'half-empty'.

Such people, like all of us, can look to Howard the Duck for guidance and strength in their efforts to modify their naturally 'half-empty' tendencies.

(People who don't believe they can self-modify: talk about evolution in action! Perhaps one day they'll get their own diatribe. Meanwhile, they shit me even more than the 'half-empties' - 'nuff said).

We may be trapped in a world we never made, but that doesn't mean we have to submit, and if we do submit we should have the courtesy not to drag others down with us.

- 24 October 2002 - 12.56AM AEST

 
People who say that music which uses samples is not creative, are either fools or lacking in thought.

People who say that covers are as creative as original tracks, are either fools or lacking in thought.

You can have a great cover - one that to my ear presents the composition to better effect than the original recording or performance of that composition.

You can have really bad original music.

But please stop confusing these simple concepts, or we'll all end up like those Rock era dinosaurs who bemoan computer music as being the death of creativity (in many ways computers - ie, hardware software and network connectivity - represent liberation for musicians around the planet).

Get a life, but get a brain first!

- 19 October 2002 - 1.01AM AEST

 
ok

 
This site is not about holding back, so don't be surprised that tonight I'm pissed about one minute/moment silences.

OK, it's good to remember those who are unfortunate, and I have no objection if people observe a minute's silence as a respect to those who have given their lives in the service of their country, say once a year at services, civic or otherwise, intended to commemorate those people and/or events.

But at every football, basketball, and tiddlywinks game? All the time?

I am alone here? Or are there others who have experienced the tyranny of the imposed silence too much lately?

Now is the time to start responding.

From now on I intend to cultivate the almost-lost art of flattulation, of "flattuletage" as it was known in mediaeval France - the art (some say power, and attribute a mystical potency to those who command this elemental force) of being able to fart at will - so that I can express myself appropriately when next I am met with an unwanted, imposed minute/moment of silence out of respect for something or someone that I either have little or no respect for, or for whom I have already given sufficient silence at the metaphorical office.

Join the revolution, comrades! Whoopee cushions are optional, but bring your colon - and a healthy supply of refried beans - with you!

- 19 October 2002 - 12.36AM AEST

 
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's better.

Now I can get back to life.

- 9 October 2002 - 3.15AM AEST

 
Today I'm pissed about spoilt people, who complain about their lives when they should be thanking their parents for giving them such a great start in life. They should go and take a long hard look at themselves in the room of mirrors.

There they will find a bunch of ego-focussed self-indulgent gits just like themselves! What a bunch of soft-cock jerks.

Incidentally, without wanting to fan any rascist fire (but intending to fan a cultural fire):has anyone else noticed that there seem to be quite a lot of English and American people who seem to you to be very lucky, yet all they seem to do all the time (when not telling you how hopeless your little old life is) is complain about their situation?

- 7 October 2002 - 5.15AM AEST

 
And while I'm on the subject, if you have ever forwarded a virus warning or similar to anyone else without first confirming it is an authentic warning, then you need to be educated. If you don't need this education, you are one of the few, and I thank you for just being you ;-)

Whenever you receive a virus warning, go to http://www.kumite.com/myths or http://www.vmyths.com/ and check to see if the warning is genuine, or another mother-[censored] of a hoax created by some psychopath(et)ic [censored] with too much spare time, too few morals, no ethics, and no life.

If the warning is a hoax (approximately 95% of the time this is the case), and you don't know the person who sent the warning: IGNORE IT. DO NOT REPLY (this will simply encourage more crap being sent to you).

If the warning is a hoax (approximately 95% of the time this is the case, in case you didn't remember), and you know the person who sent the warning: reply in kind but firm tones, and educate them as you are now being educated.

If the warning is not a hoax, make sure your virus scanning software is updated (do this regularly anyway, I suggest)

2 October 2002, 10.35 AEST

 
I am sick to death of receiving those namby pamby, saccharine e-mails that people forward to all their friends, all of which tell a ghastly story about some poor unfortunate and then tell you that a multi-national corporation is tracking the e-mail and you will be helping the poor unfortunate by sending the bloody thing on to a many people as possible.

What is it about those things?

Do they carry with them some curious power to prevent people from thinking?

Some Bizarro explanation like that is all that can explain the number of these Goddam @#&^*@#&^*@& e-mails that I receive from well-meaning but overly hasty (or under some sinister influence) individuals.

In any case, if you are like me, perhaps you would like to join me in the new Church of latter day junk mail haters. If we get enough people together to subscribe to my ideologies (more about them later, meanwhile, just sign here ...) we can get some great tax breaks.

2 October 2002, 10.24pm AEST